Understanding & Enjoying Marriage 2

Understanding Man & Woman's Unique Differences

Unique needs of a man from his woman

1. Wants to be crowned king over the home. He would love his woman to:
a. Extend to him all the courtesies of a real king
b. Create items just for him, like special seat/couch/sofa, cutleries, room, serve his meal specially, extol his virtues (not flatteries) in front of people
c. Let him drive you around at all times, as much as possible
d. Let him have final say, even though you can strongly influence that
e. Deliberately stand beside him and learn to lean on him when chanced to do so
2. Dress especially for & to please him. Plus, stay in physical shape as much as you can, for him
3. Give him room for final say before you make up your mind and take any action
4. Take permission from him, even when you expect he would not deny you
5. Give him reason to be proud of you outside of your home
6. Let him know the areas you respect or are proud of him
7. Learn to cover his “nakedness” before others
8. Defend him from others as much as possible
9. Be there for him as a support and an encourager
10. Be the Proverbs 31 virtuous woman who can multi task while he goes out there to fend for the home
11. Let the home be a comfortable, revitalizing, nourishment center where he is always looking forward to come back to and find nearly difficult to go out from
12. Make God a priority at home, and encourage him to be priest over the home

The strengths of a man

1. Physically built to be stronger
2. Potentially endowed to take charge & lead the way
3. Potentially equipped with firmness & less emotional, less sentimental, prone to be harsh, cruel and or wicked
4. Operates more from his head/senses than his heart. More real or realistic
5. Potentially powered to protect and defend his territory, if necessary, in league with others

The weakness of a man

1. What he sees is what controls/moves him emotionally – perception or intuition is needed
2. Work is what he measures his life by
3. He will always expect the woman to stand up to what he alone is built to confront
4. He is emotionally weaker and can be easily swayed by strong external emotional influence
5. For the man, his personal survival is first and so will feel almost no guilt to abandon the wife or kids, if he so determine.
6. He will only seek God if faced with difficulties and hindrances to his desires and achievements

The unique needs of a woman

1. She always wants her man to conquer her (find her, woo her, pay some price & win her over, be there for her)
2. She needs the man to understand her internal upheavals and unpredictable mood swings which are triggered easily by what she herself find difficult to lay a hold on, nor explain
3. She needs the man to understand her feelings and to show understanding even when the feelings are awkward, and even when the awkward feelings lead to wrong actions.
4. She wants him to figure her out and to provide meaningful solutions even before she can place a demand for solution from him.
5. She wants a man, who is man enough (in her eyes). A man she can boast of as a “who is who” man from among men.
6. She wants a man, that she can be proud of in front of her friends, family and colleagues
7. She wants a man she can be naked to and not be ashamed
8. She wants a man who can handle her in maturity, understanding and wisdom
9. She loves to display her beauty and apparels even though to her detriment & unknown to her, that would be a reason for wrong men to take abusive and undue advantage of her
10. The man’s physique (looks, height, & size) is not always her first requirement, nor is it as important to her as much as his means, capability, possibilities, achievements and potentials.

The strength of a woman

1. She is internally built to handle complexities and multi-tasks
2. She is endowed to accommodate, tolerate and care for more than herself
3. She is empowered to feel or see beyond the surface (intuition)
4. She can fight for and protect what she knows belong to herself only.
5. She is built to be industrious
6. She is prone to flow more naturally with the supernatural
7. She can weave through hurdles to provide solutions for the common good of many
8. She is built to submit to authority. It is only equally important that she would marry a man who is an authority over something or the other

The weakness of a woman

1. What she feels is what controls/moves her (feelings can mislead)
2. Relationship, communications, interaction, talking, meant to be a strength, becomes her bane-sensitive leakages arising from talking too much soon causes her havoc
3. She loves to handle more than her physiology can handle (her vessel is weaker than she wants to accept)
4. Her tenderness and femininity will not let her make certain tough decisions especially if it will hurt others.
5. She will always needs walls and defenses to guard her tenderness and insecurities
6. She will usually hold on for too long in abusive relational situations before seeking help
7. In a bid to wisely handle many complexities and multi-task, she will be caught in her own web of intrigues
8. She will usually have her little secrets and secret moves, secret corners that would take her time to open up to even a most faithful husband. (A little box of jewelry, little savings, little information about the kids, etc.)

© Pst Ola Elujoba - June 25, 2011
(comments & observations are welcome please)

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