In 1 Samuel chapter 25, we see the story of the wife of a
fool. Abigail was married to Mr. Nabal. The meaning of Nabal is FOOL which in
today language is also known as Moron. The name was not an alias or a
nick-name, he was so named from childhood by his parents. Many grown people’s
inadequacies started from their parents’ indiscretions. Many lives are moronic
today not only or necessarily because of recent events, but essentially because
of early childhood malfunctions. Many marriages are also working or failing
today because of early childhood inculcations or dysfunctions. In the same way,
children that are currently being raised are also being programmed for marital
failures or successes!
Nabal’s life was an irony. There are many types of foolish
people. There are many that you do not want to be identified with, but Nabal
was not one of such. Nabal was one foolish-named person you want to be
linked-up with, either as a husband, boss, business colleague, or community
leader. Though he was known by a bad name, yet his kingly lifestyle was far from that of ordinary foolish people. He
was an achiever and a success-story.
Though foolish by name, yet Mr. Nabal was wealthy and able
to provide financial and economic
security for his wife and employees. He was so well-organized that he could hire and manage servants, maids and
employees. He had thriving business structures
that accommodated several people who stayed stuck with him in-spite of his behavioral
notoriety.
Though foolish by name, he yet had people and community-following
that was equated only to that of a king. He had command over people, and, society responded whenever he beckoned. He
was smart enough to marry only one wife, devoting
adequate time and attention to her words. By that, he provided Abigail, emotional security!
Nabal successfully provided shelter and working support systems, for himself and others, regardless of his
foolish identity. Mr. Moron probably provided his wife sexual satisfaction
not-withstanding his public identity as a fool. Foolishness does not
necessarily affect bedroom performance.
Though Nabal was rather and seemingly inappropriately named,
going by his growing business concerns and societal
influence, he yet attained a status by which even the bible acknowledged
him as a very great man in 1 Samuel
25: 2.
Despite this man’s foolish name, he – again - succeeded in marrying a woman with brain and brawn. Husband’s
traditional role in the family is to protect, provide and priestly preside,
Nabal was not said to have failed in such duties too. He must have somehow
swept Abigail off of her feet as a romantic lover and good husband-material, or,
those who gave her to him must have been impressed
with him, one way or another.
Mr. Moron was wealthy, organized, and powerful in society. He provided his wife economic, social and
emotional security. The Bible recognized him as a VERY great man!
Abigail, the wife of an evil-mannered man, was noted to be
both beautiful and intelligent. She was of good understanding. Though it was
not spelt out in the scriptures, she must have been the needed balance to an
intrinsically flawed but otherwise capable husband. Many people like Nabal
succeed because of Godly roles of God-fearing wives. Wives who do not
over-emphasize their husbands’ short-comings, but rather find ways of elevating
him as a worthy head of the union, no matter what! It has often been said that
behind every successful man is a capable woman. The quality of life of a man
would, more often than not, be a reflection or in direct proportions of the
roles of the wife. Many women today are
not seeking a man to help, they just seek to be selfishly satisfied. Is it
not a wonder that when many of such are “selfishly satisfied” they continue to
feel inadequate and unfulfilled?
In Genesis 2:24, God made Eve for Adam because he needed
help-meet or help-SUITABLE! A little bit of Adam was DELIBERATELY taken out to
be included in what EVE must become and, again, ADD, to re-complete Adam.
Today’s Adams are not any more complete than the slumbered first Adam. Today’s
Adam may be foolish, a moron, health-challenged, educationally inadequate, economically-disadvantaged
or socially mundane, yet the Eve must be ready to supply HELP where it is
needed in him. There is no complete
husband anywhere. If there is, there will be no need for a wife. Also there
is no woman who is complete all by herself, even though she is intrinsically
built with a lot of horsepower. A woman
gets complete when she finds a man to support, complete and build to prominence
and greatness. Many single-parent
women engage that innate husband-building ability toward their child/children/grandchild/grandchildren,
but the greater fulfillment is found in building and completing a husband.
In the story in 1 Samuel 25, Abigail showed herself to be
fulfilling the God –ordained primary role of a wife as a HELPER.
Proverbs 18:22 says “He that finds a wife finds a good thing
and obtains favor from the Lord.”
If the man is alright then he needs no helper. A woman is
created to help a man no matter how foolish he is, or, turns out to be. God
allowed Abigail to be Nabal’s wife because she had wisdom that complemented his
foolishness!
WHAT IS THE
ESSENCE OF A MARRIAGE?
Marriage is designed for COMPLETION! Anyone who is complete
does not need a helper. A real helper provides what is missing in the spouse. A
helper is the missing link for completing the all-round beneficial-chain of
blissful living. Marriage is more than satisfying sexual needs, it is for
completing one another. For those still searching for a spouse, it is a
disaster-in-waiting to find someone like yourself - the conflicts will be
beyond desirable - it is much better to find one who augments, complements and
completes you.
One who is poor in a certain area needs a richer one in that
area of life. One who is weak needs a stronger one. One who is insecure needs a
more secure confident one. One who is impatient needs a resilient one. One who
is spontaneous needs one who is more meticulous and reserved. MARRIAGE IS FOR
COMPLETION, NOT FOR COMPETITION!
QUALITIES OF
ABIGAIL, THE WIFE OF A FOOL
She was a sacrificial risk-taker. She demonstrated
self-confidence and internal security. She was loyally committed to her
marriage union. She was an effective cross-carrier. She was very diligent in
management and deployment of goods and people. She was excellent in choice of
words. Her words melted-down DANGER into re-assuring safety. She used words to
reverse loss into gain. She was an effective intercessor. She knew when to
massage and submit to masculine ego and manly authority, and, she knew when to
exert the feminine power of persuasion. She was respectful, timely, and
conversant with current affairs. Though she could have coyly allowed fatal
damages to her husband, while selfishly ensuring her own preservation, yet she
stood in place to avert hurt to her notable Mr. Idiot!
If a woman of the Old Testament could do that much for her
home and for her man, how much more can we expect from New Testament wives?
She was sacrificial.
She took deadly risk. She laid down
her life for the notable foolish husband. She could have been raped, kidnapped
or killed by those who could take advantage of her reported stunning beauty, as
she hastily went after David’s men of war.
She was a woman who felt secure in herself. She knew what to do and she set about it no
matter what!
She was loyally committed to her marriage union and
defended it by her wise actions regardless of the obvious shortfalls of the man
in the home.
She had her cross to
carry as the popularly known wife of a popularly known negative-mannered
husband. It is one thing to be able to cope with behavioral deficiencies of a
spouse in the privacy of a home. It is another level of required tolerance when
the same “dirty linen” is public knowledge.
She was diligent
in effectively deploying people and material goods to enhance safety of their
home.
She was sincerely
forthright. She admitted the
weakness in her family but deployed the family strength for their safety and
well-being at the same time! Excellent
manager she was!
She was articulate in
use of words. Her words easily dispelled pent-up angers and quickly
disarmed temper-tantrums. She knew how-to assuage masculine ego. She was
submissive to masculine authority.
She was a good time –manager. She acted promptly and in a timely fashion to avoid danger in the family. Her
prompt intervention saved more than she had to give-up!
She was an effective
intercessor. She was well-informed.
She was respectful.
She could easily have selfishly waited for harm to befall
Nabal in order for her to be freed from the marriage, but that would have been
a BIG mistake, the harm would have included the entire household. David
acknowledged in verse 34 he would have hurt her if she had not promptly
intervened.
HOW CAN I BE
TODAY’S ABIGAIL IN MY HOME?
HOW DO I EFFECTIVELY
SEPARATE STUPID FROM GRACIOUS, IN MY MIND – SINCE I DON’T WANT TO BE STUPID BUT
WISE?
IS THERE A WAY I
CAN AVOID MARRYING A RICH, SECURITY-PROOF FOOL?
DO I HAVE TO
CONDONE STUPID IN MY HOME?
AM I RAISING &
NAMING NEW NABALS FROM MY HOME?
AM I EXPECTED TO
BE THIS GOOD TO A FOOL IN MY HOME?
DO I PREFER A
POLYGAMOUS, SECURITY-THREATENED & ALWAYS WARRING DAVID, OR A STABLE,
ALL-OTHER-NEEDS MET, BUT, MORONIC NABAL? NEITHER ONE BRINGS COMPLETE ADAM TO
THE TABLE!
WHERE IS THE GOD
OF A FOOL’S WIFE?
God fights for the wife of a fool when she plays her
God-assigned role well!
God will give her grace to bear her marital cross! Every
marriage is a cross!
God gives a second chance of true love to those who honor
him and his words.
(Related messages in Genesis 24 Virgin & Proverb 31 Gem!)
PRAYERS &
PRAYER HEADERS!
Prayers to overcome childhood “moronic” influences
Prayers to silence the powers of a silent generational evil
name
Prayers for the right twist of fortune, name is foolish,
reality is fortune!
Prayers for continuing-grace to being gracious even when
graciousness seems impossible.
Prayers of divine endowments to confront the storms against
my home!
Prayers for strategies to complete malfunctioning “Adam.”
© Bishop Ola Elujoba May, 2014
(A Message For Some Women on 2014 USA Mother’s Day)
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