In 1 Samuel chapter 25, we see the story of the wife of a fool. Abigail was married to Mr. Nabal. The meaning of Nabal is FOOL which in today language is also known as Moron. The name was not an alias or a nick-name, he was so named from childhood by his parents. Many grown people’s inadequacies started from their parents’ indiscretions. Many lives are moronic today not only or necessarily because of recent events, but essentially because of early childhood malfunctions. Many marriages are also working or failing today because of early childhood inculcations or dysfunctions. In the same way, children that are currently being raised are also being programmed for marital failures or successes!
Nabal’s life was an irony. There are many types of foolish people. There are many that you do not want to be identified with, but Nabal was not one of such. Nabal was one foolish-named person you want to be linked-up with, either as a husband, boss, business colleague, or community leader. Though he was known by a bad name, yet his kingly lifestyle was far from that of ordinary foolish people. He was an achiever and a success-story.
Though foolish by name, yet Mr. Nabal was wealthy and able to provide financial and economic security for his wife and employees. He was so well-organized that he could hire and manage servants, maids and employees. He had thriving business structures that accommodated several people who stayed stuck with him in-spite of his behavioral notoriety.
Though foolish by name, he yet had people and community-following that was equated only to that of a king. He had command over people, and, society responded whenever he beckoned. He was smart enough to marry only one wife, devoting adequate time and attention to her words. By that, he provided Abigail, emotional security!
Nabal successfully provided shelter and working support systems, for himself and others, regardless of his foolish identity. Mr. Moron probably provided his wife sexual satisfaction not-withstanding his public identity as a fool. Foolishness does not necessarily affect bedroom performance.
Though Nabal was rather and seemingly inappropriately named, going by his growing business concerns and societal influence, he yet attained a status by which even the bible acknowledged him as a very great man in 1 Samuel 25: 2.
Despite this man’s foolish name, he – again - succeeded in marrying a woman with brain and brawn. Husband’s traditional role in the family is to protect, provide and priestly preside, Nabal was not said to have failed in such duties too. He must have somehow swept Abigail off of her feet as a romantic lover and good husband-material, or, those who gave her to him must have been impressed with him, one way or another.
Mr. Moron was wealthy, organized, and powerful in society. He provided his wife economic, social and emotional security. The Bible recognized him as a VERY great man!
Abigail, the wife of an evil-mannered man, was noted to be both beautiful and intelligent. She was of good understanding. Though it was not spelt out in the scriptures, she must have been the needed balance to an intrinsically flawed but otherwise capable husband. Many people like Nabal succeed because of Godly roles of God-fearing wives. Wives who do not over-emphasize their husbands’ short-comings, but rather find ways of elevating him as a worthy head of the union, no matter what! It has often been said that behind every successful man is a capable woman. The quality of life of a man would, more often than not, be a reflection or in direct proportions of the roles of the wife. Many women today are not seeking a man to help, they just seek to be selfishly satisfied. Is it not a wonder that when many of such are “selfishly satisfied” they continue to feel inadequate and unfulfilled?
In Genesis 2:24, God made Eve for Adam because he needed help-meet or help-SUITABLE! A little bit of Adam was DELIBERATELY taken out to be included in what EVE must become and, again, ADD, to re-complete Adam. Today’s Adams are not any more complete than the slumbered first Adam. Today’s Adam may be foolish, a moron, health-challenged, educationally inadequate, economically-disadvantaged or socially mundane, yet the Eve must be ready to supply HELP where it is needed in him. There is no complete husband anywhere. If there is, there will be no need for a wife. Also there is no woman who is complete all by herself, even though she is intrinsically built with a lot of horsepower. A woman gets complete when she finds a man to support, complete and build to prominence and greatness. Many single-parent women engage that innate husband-building ability toward their child/children/grandchild/grandchildren, but the greater fulfillment is found in building and completing a husband.
In the story in 1 Samuel 25, Abigail showed herself to be fulfilling the God –ordained primary role of a wife as a HELPER.
Proverbs 18:22 says “He that finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.”
If the man is alright then he needs no helper. A woman is created to help a man no matter how foolish he is, or, turns out to be. God allowed Abigail to be Nabal’s wife because she had wisdom that complemented his foolishness!
WHAT IS THE ESSENCE OF A MARRIAGE?
Marriage is designed for COMPLETION! Anyone who is complete does not need a helper. A real helper provides what is missing in the spouse. A helper is the missing link for completing the all-round beneficial-chain of blissful living. Marriage is more than satisfying sexual needs, it is for completing one another. For those still searching for a spouse, it is a disaster-in-waiting to find someone like yourself - the conflicts will be beyond desirable - it is much better to find one who augments, complements and completes you.
One who is poor in a certain area needs a richer one in that area of life. One who is weak needs a stronger one. One who is insecure needs a more secure confident one. One who is impatient needs a resilient one. One who is spontaneous needs one who is more meticulous and reserved. MARRIAGE IS FOR COMPLETION, NOT FOR COMPETITION!
QUALITIES OF ABIGAIL, THE WIFE OF A FOOL
She was a sacrificial risk-taker. She demonstrated self-confidence and internal security. She was loyally committed to her marriage union. She was an effective cross-carrier. She was very diligent in management and deployment of goods and people. She was excellent in choice of words. Her words melted-down DANGER into re-assuring safety. She used words to reverse loss into gain. She was an effective intercessor. She knew when to massage and submit to masculine ego and manly authority, and, she knew when to exert the feminine power of persuasion. She was respectful, timely, and conversant with current affairs. Though she could have coyly allowed fatal damages to her husband, while selfishly ensuring her own preservation, yet she stood in place to avert hurt to her notable Mr. Idiot!
If a woman of the Old Testament could do that much for her home and for her man, how much more can we expect from New Testament wives?
She was sacrificial. She took deadly risk. She laid down her life for the notable foolish husband. She could have been raped, kidnapped or killed by those who could take advantage of her reported stunning beauty, as she hastily went after David’s men of war.
She was a woman who felt secure in herself. She knew what to do and she set about it no matter what!
She was loyally committed to her marriage union and defended it by her wise actions regardless of the obvious shortfalls of the man in the home.
She had her cross to carry as the popularly known wife of a popularly known negative-mannered husband. It is one thing to be able to cope with behavioral deficiencies of a spouse in the privacy of a home. It is another level of required tolerance when the same “dirty linen” is public knowledge.
She was diligent in effectively deploying people and material goods to enhance safety of their home.
She was sincerely forthright. She admitted the weakness in her family but deployed the family strength for their safety and well-being at the same time! Excellent manager she was!
She was articulate in use of words. Her words easily dispelled pent-up angers and quickly disarmed temper-tantrums. She knew how-to assuage masculine ego. She was submissive to masculine authority.
She was a good time –manager. She acted promptly and in a timely fashion to avoid danger in the family. Her prompt intervention saved more than she had to give-up!
She was an effective intercessor. She was well-informed. She was respectful.
She could easily have selfishly waited for harm to befall Nabal in order for her to be freed from the marriage, but that would have been a BIG mistake, the harm would have included the entire household. David acknowledged in verse 34 he would have hurt her if she had not promptly intervened.
HOW CAN I BE TODAY’S ABIGAIL IN MY HOME?
HOW DO I EFFECTIVELY SEPARATE STUPID FROM GRACIOUS, IN MY MIND – SINCE I DON’T WANT TO BE STUPID BUT WISE?
IS THERE A WAY I CAN AVOID MARRYING A RICH, SECURITY-PROOF FOOL?
DO I HAVE TO CONDONE STUPID IN MY HOME?
AM I RAISING & NAMING NEW NABALS FROM MY HOME?
AM I EXPECTED TO BE THIS GOOD TO A FOOL IN MY HOME?
DO I PREFER A POLYGAMOUS, SECURITY-THREATENED & ALWAYS WARRING DAVID, OR A STABLE, ALL-OTHER-NEEDS MET, BUT, MORONIC NABAL? NEITHER ONE BRINGS COMPLETE ADAM TO THE TABLE!
WHERE IS THE GOD OF A FOOL’S WIFE?
God fights for the wife of a fool when she plays her God-assigned role well!
God will give her grace to bear her marital cross! Every marriage is a cross!
God gives a second chance of true love to those who honor him and his words.
(Related messages in Genesis 24 Virgin & Proverb 31 Gem!)
PRAYERS & PRAYER HEADERS!
Prayers to overcome childhood “moronic” influences
Prayers to silence the powers of a silent generational evil name
Prayers for the right twist of fortune, name is foolish, reality is fortune!
Prayers for continuing-grace to being gracious even when graciousness seems impossible.
Prayers of divine endowments to confront the storms against my home!
Prayers for strategies to complete malfunctioning “Adam.”
© Bishop Ola Elujoba May, 2014
(A Message For Some Women on 2014 USA Mother’s Day)
Post a Comment